A Very-Belated Post About the Oscars

Initially, I thought I'd be able to "live-blog", or at least keep a running track of my thought while I was watching the awards, but life, in the form of alcohol (and incoherently shrieking whenever someone I liked won anything) got in the way. After that, school got in the way. So, I'm going to dip into my memory of what took place, and my thoughts on the whole thing. I promise I won't even go into scary-long-blog-entry mode; I have half an hour of typing to do in class, so I may as well put it to good use instead of playing another typing game for the billionth time.

So, let's go! Under the jump, so as not to intimidate any new readers who stumble upon my slice of interwebs.

The Red Carpet, in (very) Brief

I missed most of the Red Carpet. I saw Anne Hathaway, and Jaime Foxx. First of all, I'm pretty sure Anne is trying desperately to be Audrey Hepburn. I always loved her, and was stoked when she won Best Supporting Actress, but she just isn't rubbing me the right way lately, in interviews and the like. This might be because I am blinded, as the rest of the world is, by an intense love of Jennifer Lawrence, but I digress. Anyway, although she looked stunning and very waif-like in her dress, I didn't really like said dress. Here's a picture:


Picture courtesy US Magazine

Jamie Foxx was with his 19-year-old daughter. As I don't really care for Mr. Foxx and know little about him, I was unaware of said daughter, and initially thought he was robbing some MAYJAH cradle. I was actually kind of relieved when he introduced her (and I thought it was sweet that his daughter was his date).

I also caught a bit of Jennifer Garner. Her dress was a gorgeous color, but the shape was weird. I didn't mind the ruffles on the back, it was the front of the dress itself that seemed... off. It needed to be tighter, or more voluminous, or more something. 

Picture courtesy OK Magazine

Anyway, this leads us to the show!

Despite all the controversy and outrage or whatevs, I fucking love Seth MacFarlane

For those of you who weren't offended by "We Saw Your Boobs!" or jokes about Chris Brown, just HOW adorable is MacFarlane!? I wasn't expecting that. I'd seen him before in interviews and the like, but never all dolled up and ready for the Oscars. I definitely found myself in full-on-ermagerd crrrruuuuuusssssshh! mode, which is unusual for me. So, well played, Mr. MacFarlane, and the Academy.

He took a shot at Chris Brown, and the crowd cringed. At the end of the day, it didn't matter how offended anyone was, because it spelled R-A-T-I-N-G-S for the network. Also, it made me wonder: Am I bad person? I legitimately wasn't offended by ANYTHING he said. I will say that the few articles I've read about the Boobs song that included comments under them noting that Charlize Theron and Naoimi Watts were obviously "mortified" or "disgusted" made me literally LAUGH OUT LOUD, because they were OBVIOUSLY in on it. The "reaction" shots that were shown of the two, during the songs, included the actresses wearing dresses that they weren't wearing at the show, and obviously had just been inserted for comedic value. Hell, did anyone else see Charlize dancing, on stage, as part of the opening act? If there's one thing that makes me laugh, it's blatant stupidity, and a lot of the criticism, that which isn't coming from genuine hurt-feelings, is exactly that. Stupidity.

Anyway, various controversies aside, the opening number also included Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe, and the adorable Joseph Gordon-Levitt dancing, so, y'know, A+ marks from me, here.

I loved the whole thing, it really drew me in, which of the past 5 Oscars I've really paid attention to, only about half of the openings have had the effect on me.

The show itself, in point form, because the notes in my head are organized in a jumble

The first "big" award was Best Supporting Actor, and I nearly peed when Christoph Waltz took it for Django, which I had just watched, literally seconds before flipping on the broadcast. I was trippin' balls of happiness. I had actually been "that" person, the one I mentioned in my "About the Words and the Girl" post, that was posting non-friggin'-stop on Facebook. I later apologized to my Facebook friends. Anyway, just before the show had started, I'd posted the following status:

Bless Quentin Tarantino for importing Christoph Waltz and his talent from Austria/Germany. I could watch this man all day in any movie.

So, yeah - best win ever? Absolutely (until we got to Best Actress, that is)...

I'm not sure when it happened but at one point, the wonderful Daniel Radcliffe was presenting an award with the not-so-wonderful Kristen Stewart, and I felt an inhuman rage. One could argue it's my extreme love of Harry Potter -vs- my extreme dislike of Twilight, but really, it's just because Kristen Stewart sucks. 'Cause, her hair? What was that. Bitch, you're at the mawfuggin' Academy Awards. Have some pride in your appearance.

There were musical numbers. I love musicals. More than any other genre, simply because the world would be a much sunnier place if people would sporadically break into song and dance all the time. I don't mean flash mobs, 'cause as fun as those are to watch, they're also awkward. Anyway, Catherine Zeta-Jones (looking goddamn fabulous) performed "All That Jazz" from Chicago, one of my all-time favorites. Then, the cast of Les Mis (WAIT WAIT, I HAVE TO DIGRESS HERE FOR A MOMENT - I've been pronouncing the lovely Amanda Seyfried's last name wrong for the past 5ish years. I've been saying it like, "See-freed", whereas John Travolta introduced her as Amanda PSY-FRID. My mind was blown, and I felt ashamed) performed, and were amazing, because, you know, big casts of epic musicals generally are. Then, Jennifer Hudson, looking not-at-all like her Oscar-winning character in Dreamgirls (since she shed like a small child's worth of weight - good on her, I'd LOVE to have the ambition to do the same), nailed "I Am Telling You That I'm Not Going". I cheered. From my bedroom. Because I am a loser.

And Adele performed. Skyfall was actually the last movie I saw in theatres, back in November for my boyfriend's birthday.... I don't get out much. The song is awesome. Adele is awesome. And then Adele won an Oscar!

And freakin' Anne Hathaway won an Oscar. You know, Mia Thermopolis from The Princess Diaries? That Anne Hathaway. It's bizarro world. As I noted earlier, she's starting to rub me the wrong way, but in all honesty, I'm sure she deserved it (I still haven't seen Les Miserables. As I noted to a friend the other day, it's not a rock I live under - it's a boulder).

Ang Lee and Life of Pi won some things, and that was fun. And Quentin Tarantino won Best Original Screenplay, which thrilled me. I was hoping his acceptance speech would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more over-the-top and insane. He did end it with "Peace out!" which was nice. But still, it was a little too reined-in for me and I was disappointed. That man in a psychopathic genius.

Okay. I'm mentioning the next two out of order. Best Actor is always presented after Best Actress, but I was completely unshocked (and I'm sure literally not a single human in the world was shocked) that Daniel Day-Lewis won (for Lincoln, for those of you who weren't following). I mean, come on. The man has done like 5 movies in the past 15 years and has won two Oscars out of those five movies. He is a MACHINE. 

Here's the big one, for me. Best Picture wasn't even as exciting - again, just for me.

Here we go.

And the award for Best Actress goes to...

JENNIFER LAWRENCE!!!!!!!!!!

Picture courtesy CBS News

And she fell down. And it was charming. And she was real. And all was right in the world.

Oh, then Argo, which I hadn't had time to watch, won Best Picture. Ben Affleck looked like he was going to have a brain aneurysm, he was all red and shaky. I was genuinely happy for him.

And that's all til next year's awards!