September 7, 2015

Another oldie stolen from LJ - a sorting quiz!

[ ] You've never done drugs.
[ ] You have a lot of friends.
[ ] You get along with everyone.
[ ] You haven't made fun of someone for at least two months.
[ ] You love soccer.
[ ] You love baseball.
[x] You're into writing and art.
[ ] Favorite music genre is pop rock.
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory.
[ ] Abortion is wrong. 
[x] The war against Iraq is unneeded.
[ ] One of your favorite colors is red or gold.
[ ] Good grades at school.
[ ] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[ ] You plan on going to college.


[ ] You're content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[ ] Politics suck.
[x] You love to swim.
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[ ] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist. 
[ ] You're an optimist.
[ ] You're completely straight-edge.
[x] You're very emotional.
[ ] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favorite music genre.
[x] You don't believe in going steady at a young age.
[x] You've made fun of at least one person this week.


[x] You're depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[x] Sports suck. 
[ ] You're shy.
[ ] Bush is trying his hardest.
[x] You've been in love or are now. 
[ ] Hate is completely unneeded.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
[ ] Indie is your favorite genre of music. 
[x] Every once in a while you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[ ] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[ ] Serious is better than funny.


[x] There's at least one person you hate.
[ ] Basketball is a good sport.
[ ] Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool color.
[x] You've lied about something serious.
[ ] You're a very deep person. 
[x] You have considered suicide.
[ ] You are not very loyal.
[ ] You like heavy metal.
[ ] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You're scared to grow up.
[ ] You've done drugs in the past month.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x] You have trust issues.
[ ] Guilty until proven innocent.


September 4, 2015

Stolen from my Livejournal 10 years ago, 100 Facts quiz.

--{100 Little Things You Might Know About Me}---

1. Name: Brittani
2. Nicknames: Britt, Bmac (RIP my fun high school nicknames)
3. Birthday: December 30th, 1988
4. Place of Birth: Sydney, Nova Scotia
5. Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
6. Male or Female: Female
7. Grade: Eleven - NONE. I'm 26.
8. School: Riverview Rural High School - SEE ABOVE
9. Occupation: Lead costume consultant at Value Village. Also cashier, video store clerk, and janitor.
10. Residence: Sydney, Nova Scotia
11. Screen Name: pumpkin_queen16 - LOL. None. Well, brittsperiment on Twitter, brittofwinterfell on Instagram.

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: Red and blue.
13. Hair Length: Shoulders
14. Eye color: Grey-blue.
15. Best Feature: None, or my eyes I guess.- answer remains the same 10 years later.
16. Height: 5'4".
17. Braces?: I wish - still same.
18. Glasses?: Yep. 
19. Piercings: 3 in each ear + nose.
20. Tattoos: 3..
21. Righty or Lefty: Lefty.

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Bre Kyte! We still talk :)
23. First Award: A good samaritan award in grade 3 LMAO.
24. First Sport You Joined: Soccer.
25. First pet: Two cats, Larry and Murphy.
26. First Real Vacation: Probably Ingonish.
27. First Concert: Likely an Accent's concert... or The Moffatts in grade 6!! [I still love them]
28. First Love: I'd say Brian but I had some solid crushes prior that felt like more.

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: MILLIONS, but Rent, Fight Club, The Nightmare Before Christmas.
31. Colors: Purple.
32. Rapper: ... Eminem or Nicki.
33. Band: This answer changed majorly. Fallout Boy!
34. Song Right Now: All You Had to do Was Stay - Taylor Swift and Shut Up and Dance With Me - Walk the Moon
35. Friend: Cora. 
37. Sport to Play: None.
38. Restaurant: ?? Burger King #classy
39. Favorite brand to wear: Under Armour, Bench and Lulu!
41. School Subject: --
42. Animal: KITTIES!! And penguins and llamas as well. <--- still true 10 years later, also, goats.
43. Book: The Perks of Being A Wallflower. <--- still same 10 years later!
44. Magazine: None.
45. Shoes: CHUCKS.


46. Feeling: Sleepy. Sooky. Bored.
47. Needing: Sleep.
48. Have a crush: Yes, because I am a stupid person.
49. Eating: Nothing, but I'm thinkin' Kenny's.
50. Drinking: Nothing.
51. Typing: This.
52. Online?: MSN doesn't exist anymore and I deleted Facebook.
53. Listening To: WatchMojo videos playing in the background as always.
54. Thinking About: How I'd probably still be friends with 16-year-old Brittani.
55. Wanting To: Hang out with literally anyone.
56. Watching: Nothing, but WatchMojo is playing.
57. Wearing: Sweatpants from old navy, my Love Cape Breton tank, and my awesome grey sweater.


58. Want Kids?: No.
59. Want to be Married?: Maybe.
61. Where do you want to live: Here.
62. Car: Eh.

__Which is Better With The Opposite or Same Sex___ 

63. Hair color:I love redheads but maybe that's cause I love myself. *not*. Doesn't matter.
64. Hair length: Depends on the person.
65. Eye color:Doesn't matter.
66. Measurements: LMAO... I don't care? <--- same. I'm really not about appearances.
67. Cute or Sexy: Cute.
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes.
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both plz.
70. Short or Tall: Tallers than Brittani (if we're tlaking about guys that is) <--- let's keep that [honestly that's foreshadowing I never intended, I swear] and say that for girls, I don't care - short, tall, same, whatever.
71. Easygoing or serious: A bit of both.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: A bit of both?
73. Fatty or Skinny: I don't care.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Both 
75. Hook-up or Relationship:?
76. Sweet or Caring: Both.
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: A nice mixture?

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: No.
79. Had Alcohol: Yes.
80. Smoked: Yes.
81. Ran Away From Home: When I was like 5 
82. Broken a bone: No.
83. Got an X-ray: Many.
84. Had sex: Yes.
85. Broken Someones Heart: Maybe.
86. Broke Up With Someone: Yep.
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yes.
88. Cried At School: Yep.

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: No.
90. Miracles: No. Unless it's a Christmas miracle -wanders away in a Christmas-movie induced daze- <-- haha, I'll keep this answer.
91. Love At First sight: Nope.
92. Ghosts: Of course.
93. Aliens: I used to be TERRIFIED of getting abducted, so much so thatI couldn't sleep at night for a period of like 5 years (aged 8-13) I'm over it now, but yes, I still completely believe in aliens. <-- keeping this answer.
94. Soul Mates: No.
95. Heaven: No.
96. Hell: No.
97. Angels: No.
98. Kissing on The First Date:Apparently I lost all my morals as an adult. Doesn't even have to be a date.

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone you want but know you can't have?: HA.

September 2, 2015

Some highlights from my online journals.

I'm currently working a 7-hour shift, and have been left approximately 3 hours-worth of work to do. In the interim, for the sake of killing time, I'm shuffling around my old Livejournal accounts. I had two main ones, and I maintained them from age 16 to age 21. They're... pretty funny. I mean, sometimes they're really, really dark. And they're nifty as I can see how my skill in expressing myself via writing progressed.

But for the most part - CRINGE-ATTACKS ABOUND.

For example, here's my LJ bio from when I was 19:

Brittani. Nineteen years old. Female. Class of 2007. Taking a year off to figure out wtf she's doing next year. Slave to Empire Theatres (her place of employment). Canadian. Natural brunette, but it varies with her mood (and if she can afford hair dye at the time). Four-eyed. Freckled. Hella pale, it's a curse.Addicted to coffee, movies, writing, Facebook, the magic of reading, and music. Wishes on every single 11:11, though nothing ever comes true. Has 11:11 tattooed on her wrist, actually. She also has "525,600 Minutes" tattooed on her other wrist. She has an eyebrow ring, too. Unstable. Borderline. [Formerly]Self-injurous and occasionally suicidal. [Still] Pessimistic. Wishes she had a better grip on her life. Ian from work once told her she "Lies like a cheap rug", and she still can't quite figure that out.
Her DVD collection is her baby.
Along with her laptop.
Speaks French as well as English, knows a little Latin, and wants to learn German, Russian, and Japanese.
Bridge to Terabithia made her bawl like a baby the three times she saw it at the theatre. She's a little too sensitive, and over-thinks every situation she finds herself in. She really is a hopeless dreamer, is what it all boils down to.
Likes: Caffeine. Empire Theatres friends. Livejournal. Facebook. Singing. Dancing. Laughing. Random drives with friends accompanied by any music, from the Hairspray Soundtrack to Fall Out Boy to some oldschool Eminem. Ice cream, it can make any situation seem better. Movies. DVDs. Trivia. Vodka. Bars in New Brunswick. Being 19 and therefore old enough to go to bars. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Writing. Celebrity gossip, though it makes her feel shallow. Reading. Taking walks. Cats. Random things that aren't supposed to be funny but then they really, really are. Quotes. Geeky people. People I can hold an intelligent conversation with. Free speech. ♥. Fall Out Boy. Billy Talent. Musicals. Hairspray (movie, not product haha!). MY JOB. Getting into movies for free! Tattoos.
On the one-hand: *cringe*.
On the other, there's a lot of things that haven't changed. The better aspects, anyway. It's like I can see real-life character development. Which is nice. But some of it..

I SPECIFICALLY STATED I WASN'T A FEMINIST, which is EASILY the cringe-iest thing there. Like, I want to backhand my teenage-self. 

But, there are funny things, that were dead-serious when I wrote them.

Like this: 
"It didn't matter that he had just turned 15 and I was nearly 17."
Or this (which is less funny and more "I wrote this in 2006 and I'd still say something like this today"):
" was just probably a major, major Perks of Being a Wallflower moment."
There are at least 8 instances where I said this, months apart. If you're wondering: a Perks moment is when you feel infinite. I actually had one the other day, lying on top of a dam in the sun, listening to Pink's "Try", full-blast through my headphones. 

Apparently, "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls and Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends" made me cry like a baby at age 17. And some of the stuff I wrote makes me want to go back in time and give myself a hug. It does get better. It doesn't get easier, no. But better. I didn't need the hug, apparently - as I'm still here. Clearly.

And this whole thing is a time capsule. One thing that gave me major pause, dated April 1st, 2006:
"Minimum wage is going up to $7.15."

It's $10.60 now, y'all. 

2008's summer playlist, made by a former friend and I brainstorming:
1. Shake It - Metro Station
2. The Art of Losing - American HiFi
3. I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
4. Big Girls (You Are Beautiful) - Mika
5. Never Too Late - Hedley
6. Empty Apartment - Yellowcard
7. I Love This Bar - Toby Keith
8. Dust on the Bottle - David Lee Murphy
9. Free Ride - The Doobie Brothers
10. Oh What A Night - The Four Seasons
11. Road Called Life - The Accents
12. Completely - Serial Joe
13. Move Along - The All-American Rejects
14. Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K
15. All Around Me - Flyleaf
16. I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequinn
17. Definitely Maybe - FM Static
18. Hearts That Bleed - State of Shock
19. Take A Chance On Me - Abba
20. Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequinn
Also from 2008, wisdom from the projectionist at the movie theatre, after I lost my mind on one of my managers:
"When I finally dragged myself away from box, Wayne stopped me and said, "If you start a fight, don't walk out. Finish it. If you walk away, she wins.""
March 31st, 2005, I made my first entry. I ended it thusly:
Well, I need to add the cheer comp pics to my site, so I'll update more later. Byyyyyyyeeeee!
--Rowena (yeah that's going to be my journal-signing name LOL) 

And I think that's all the cringe-attack I can handle for one day. 

Little musical comparison.

Most-listened to songs, age 18 (via my Livejournal):

What I've Been Looking For - High School Musical
Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
Don't Matter - Akon
A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me' - Fall Out Boy
Bang the Doldrums - Fall Out Boy
Carpal Tunnel of Love - Fall Out Boy
Keep Your Mind Wide Open - Bridge to Terabithia
A Place For Us - Bridge to Terabithia
This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy
Golden - Fall Out Boy
Never Too Late - Three Days Grace

Most-listened to songs, age 26:

Style - Taylor Swift
Out of the Woods - ""
Blank Space - "" 
All You Had to Do Was Stay - ""
Thanks That Was Fun - Barenaked Ladies
Hands Clean - Alanis Morrisette
Odds Are - Barenaked Ladies
Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy
Surrender - Billy Talent
Try - Pink

Fall Out Boy living on in my life to this day <3

June 18, 2015

That in-between phase. and the perspective therefore afforded. Or, wherein I speak upon teens on the internet.

I spend a lot of time on the internet.

 This has been true since my family first got connected to the web (and less so when I used to book an hour at the library for the privilege of making sure my Neopets were fed, and my email was checked). I was probably thirteen. There was, of course, MSN messenger for chatting with my friends - which didn't go out of vogue until I was about 21. There was the aforementioned Neopets, there was There was a whole slew of things to keep me entertained.

As I got older, my usage evolved. Pixel dolling became a major hobby, as did Harry Potter-themed roleplaying, and writing fairly graphic HP lesbian fanfiction. And yes, I say that without a trace of shame. I blogged, too. Well, journalled. Several iterations of my Livejournal still exist, filled with cringe-worthy accounts of my day-to-day, aged 16 to 20.

Social media in its current form wasn't really a 'thing' until I was an adult. I got Facebook at 17. Instagram and Snapchat at 24. At 26, I discovered Twitter and Tumblr. And this, essentially, is where I get confused.

I'm a tried-and-true adult(sometimes); job-working, bill-paying, cat-owning, teenager-hating, responsibility-having, grown up. It's weird. I'm not the 'married with a slew of sprogs' type of adult, nor do I wish to be. But I'm 8 years out from high school. I'm no kid.

I'm 'up' on the Tumblr lingo. I know all the memes. I've developed some of the written mannerisms and found them peppering my own online interactions. But there are some things I still don't understand. Maybe I'm out of touch. Or, maybe, life exerience has given me distance and perspective.

One of the single-oddest things I've encountered, both in the Twitterverse and Tumblr, is what constitutes 'relationship goals'. Dozens of pictures of model-perfect girls and boys smiling in sunsets and holding hands and obsessing over each other. I'd imagine that there was a time I'd wanted that, or something similar. But life didn't pan out like that. And, unless you're conventionally beautiful (and maybe a little wealthy in some cases - look at the locations in these pictures), these aren't realistic 'goals'. On top of the virtually unattainable aesthetic, what gets me is it all seems so .... surface. So shallow. So simple.

I found myself in my first and only relationship entirely by accident at age 20. And from day one, it was a struggle. There's uncertainty, insecurity, and, in my case, a perpetual feeling of inadequacy that lingered until I was 26. But there was also love. There was friendship. There was 'getting' each other.

But my god. There were fights and struggles and issues, some of which were never overcome. And honestly - THAT is all common to relationships, especially long-lasting, adult ones. Perfection was never obtained, and that's fine. My most-perfect-moment happened a scant year in - 2010, together at a Taylor Swift concert, as she played 'Today Was A Fairytale'. I can say, without hesitation, that was the single-most 'in-love' moment I've ever felt in my life. And that's fine. Maybe nothing will top that, maybe it'll be trumped a dozen times over. I don't know, and that's part of life.

Life goals shouldn't be summarized as 'be gorgeous with perfect long hair in size-0 cutoff jean shorts with an underwear-model-pretty boy (or girl) grabbing your waist for pictures'. But that seems to be the main focus of all 'Relatable' or 'Just Girl Things' accounts I follow.

Maybe this means I'm simply Too Damn Old for these accounts - but when they post about the struggle of girls who are always hungry (OH HAI), or loving cats more than people, or wishing there was an extra day of the week just for napping. Maybe some wishes are universal, regardless of age, perspective be damned. Maybe catsnapssnacks is what makes us all human. But, being a little older and a little wiser: your high school boyfriend or girlfriend may, very rarely, be your be-all, end-all. But realistically: that's probably not the case. And that's FINE.

I can't follow 'mommy' blogs or married life. I am not, and may not ever be (my choice) there. But I also can't quite keep up with what teens are dreaming. And hey, that's fine too. In-between isn't the worst place to be.