September 2, 2015

Some highlights from my online journals.

I'm currently working a 7-hour shift, and have been left approximately 3 hours-worth of work to do. In the interim, for the sake of killing time, I'm shuffling around my old Livejournal accounts. I had two main ones, and I maintained them from age 16 to age 21. They're... pretty funny. I mean, sometimes they're really, really dark. And they're nifty as I can see how my skill in expressing myself via writing progressed.

But for the most part - CRINGE-ATTACKS ABOUND.

For example, here's my LJ bio from when I was 19:

Brittani. Nineteen years old. Female. Class of 2007. Taking a year off to figure out wtf she's doing next year. Slave to Empire Theatres (her place of employment). Canadian. Natural brunette, but it varies with her mood (and if she can afford hair dye at the time). Four-eyed. Freckled. Hella pale, it's a curse.Addicted to coffee, movies, writing, Facebook, the magic of reading, and music. Wishes on every single 11:11, though nothing ever comes true. Has 11:11 tattooed on her wrist, actually. She also has "525,600 Minutes" tattooed on her other wrist. She has an eyebrow ring, too. Unstable. Borderline. [Formerly]Self-injurous and occasionally suicidal. [Still] Pessimistic. Wishes she had a better grip on her life. Ian from work once told her she "Lies like a cheap rug", and she still can't quite figure that out.
Her DVD collection is her baby.
Along with her laptop.
Speaks French as well as English, knows a little Latin, and wants to learn German, Russian, and Japanese.
Bridge to Terabithia made her bawl like a baby the three times she saw it at the theatre. She's a little too sensitive, and over-thinks every situation she finds herself in. She really is a hopeless dreamer, is what it all boils down to.
Likes: Caffeine. Empire Theatres friends. Livejournal. Facebook. Singing. Dancing. Laughing. Random drives with friends accompanied by any music, from the Hairspray Soundtrack to Fall Out Boy to some oldschool Eminem. Ice cream, it can make any situation seem better. Movies. DVDs. Trivia. Vodka. Bars in New Brunswick. Being 19 and therefore old enough to go to bars. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Writing. Celebrity gossip, though it makes her feel shallow. Reading. Taking walks. Cats. Random things that aren't supposed to be funny but then they really, really are. Quotes. Geeky people. People I can hold an intelligent conversation with. Free speech. ♥. Fall Out Boy. Billy Talent. Musicals. Hairspray (movie, not product haha!). MY JOB. Getting into movies for free! Tattoos.
On the one-hand: *cringe*.
On the other, there's a lot of things that haven't changed. The better aspects, anyway. It's like I can see real-life character development. Which is nice. But some of it..

I SPECIFICALLY STATED I WASN'T A FEMINIST, which is EASILY the cringe-iest thing there. Like, I want to backhand my teenage-self. 

But, there are funny things, that were dead-serious when I wrote them.

Like this: 
"It didn't matter that he had just turned 15 and I was nearly 17."
Or this (which is less funny and more "I wrote this in 2006 and I'd still say something like this today"):
" was just probably a major, major Perks of Being a Wallflower moment."
There are at least 8 instances where I said this, months apart. If you're wondering: a Perks moment is when you feel infinite. I actually had one the other day, lying on top of a dam in the sun, listening to Pink's "Try", full-blast through my headphones. 

Apparently, "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls and Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends" made me cry like a baby at age 17. And some of the stuff I wrote makes me want to go back in time and give myself a hug. It does get better. It doesn't get easier, no. But better. I didn't need the hug, apparently - as I'm still here. Clearly.

And this whole thing is a time capsule. One thing that gave me major pause, dated April 1st, 2006:
"Minimum wage is going up to $7.15."

It's $10.60 now, y'all. 

2008's summer playlist, made by a former friend and I brainstorming:
1. Shake It - Metro Station
2. The Art of Losing - American HiFi
3. I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
4. Big Girls (You Are Beautiful) - Mika
5. Never Too Late - Hedley
6. Empty Apartment - Yellowcard
7. I Love This Bar - Toby Keith
8. Dust on the Bottle - David Lee Murphy
9. Free Ride - The Doobie Brothers
10. Oh What A Night - The Four Seasons
11. Road Called Life - The Accents
12. Completely - Serial Joe
13. Move Along - The All-American Rejects
14. Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K
15. All Around Me - Flyleaf
16. I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequinn
17. Definitely Maybe - FM Static
18. Hearts That Bleed - State of Shock
19. Take A Chance On Me - Abba
20. Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequinn
Also from 2008, wisdom from the projectionist at the movie theatre, after I lost my mind on one of my managers:
"When I finally dragged myself away from box, Wayne stopped me and said, "If you start a fight, don't walk out. Finish it. If you walk away, she wins.""
March 31st, 2005, I made my first entry. I ended it thusly:
Well, I need to add the cheer comp pics to my site, so I'll update more later. Byyyyyyyeeeee!
--Rowena (yeah that's going to be my journal-signing name LOL) 

And I think that's all the cringe-attack I can handle for one day. 

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I'll read anything but as this is a personal blog, whether or not it remains is up to me.